If you follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jennisheneman/ than chances are you would have seen my Instastory on Saturday. It was a day that I looked forward to; in fact, I look forward to it every 5-6 weeks. Unfortunately, the day away did not pan out how I envisioned it. I'm certain the many who passed me on Braselton Hwy and Hog Mountain Rd. that day had to do a double take. My head was covered with bleached hair "nicely" wrapped in tinfoils and a shower cap to boot. It's not what I had planned, but I messed up. The long and short of it is that I accidentally took my van keys with me when I pulled out of the driveway in my husband's car. He wanted to take the kids to lunch but couldn't because I had the keys. So, I drove 20 mins home with tears in my eyes because I messed up; I felt like I had disappointed my family. It's a heavy weight to carry; He beckons me to these lessons about grace to remind me that He has created a margin between our mistakes and rock bottom. In between those two things is this beautiful word called grace and it carries us, it sustains us, and He washes it all away--"He has removed our sins/mistakes as far from us as the east is from the west." Psalm 103:12
Today, just 5 days later, I got to experience another lesson about grace. I can't guarantee I will click post and not have splattered tears all over the keyboard, but I will do my best because it's a Mac laptop, and unlike my waterproof MAC mascara, it's affected by my tears.
I'd like to say this Wednesday was just like last Wednesday, which was pretty good, but it was most definitely not. I planned on going to the gym to take a class or two this morning when everything got derailed. As I pulled into the gym parking lot--my class having already started--the parking lot was pretty full, so I just assumed I'd have to take a spot farthest away for the sake of searching and wasting more of my precious gym time. In doing so, I passed an open spot. The corner of my eye caught it. Making sure no one was behind me, I backed up and pulled into the parking spot forgetting that I was driving White Rocket, not a Porsche Carrera. I'm not implying speed here, more like size. Even if I hadn't felt or heard the right corner of the front of my car swipe the car next to me, there sat my 3 year old sassy, southerner as she shouted, "ouch, oh no!"
Totally shocked. Speechless. Could I have really hit a parked car?
I immediately got out of my van--heart pounding with fear for what I would find. Damage. That's what I found. I cried. People were completely oblivious as they walked into the gym. That fear of disappointment that derailed my Saturday had come to do the same to my Wednesday.
I went into the gym, checked HG into the kids room, and decided that I would go to every person working out asking if they owned a Honda Pilot. I happened upon a friend from church who was there with her friend. I fought back the tears as hard as I could but then I couldn't anymore. With their sweet words of encouragement, I mustered up the strength to at least ask the others without crying. The first lady I asked about came running off the treadmill. "Ma'am, I realize I'm without make up and have red teary eyes but do I look that bad?" Bless her. She wasn't the owner of the newly damaged Honda Pilot and went back to her 3 mile run.
I kept asking and every response was no. I held out going into class until there was about 5 minutes left. I thought surely if the lady is in this class my goodness the least I could do is let her get her workout in before I broke the news. I mean one of us should get a workout in today. I humbly walked into the class, approached the front, and leaned in to ask the sweaty instructor if she could ask if anyone owned a Honda Pilot. The class was full, y'all, and not a single person owned that Honda Pilot. I was dumbfounded. It had been an hour. The police officer was on his way, and I could not locate the owner.
Grace Found Me. In the midst of my panic, shame, and searching to rectify my wrong. Grace Found Me. The officer took my license, pulled up the plate info from the other car and located the owner. She, in fact, was an employee at the vet. I anticipated her arrival wondering if she would be just as disappointed in me as I was in myself.
Grace Found Me. I noticed her walking and examined her every step playing out in my mind how she would react to what I had to share.
Grace Found Me. Yet again, the tears would flow as I offered up the deepest, most sincere apology I could find.
Surprisingly, she was pleasant, gracious and appreciative that I would go through all this trouble. As we chatted, she said to me that her car needed to get cleaned.and to not call my insurance and file a claim in the event it just needs a good wax and buffing.
Huh? I realize I've been an emotional basket case for the last hour, but a car wash? That's all you got?
She said she would go home and have her husband take a look and that she would call me tomorrow. I immediately asked her to meet me so that I could pay to have her car detailed. She obliged me. The officer came back and handed us our copies of the accident report. I asked if I was going to get a ticket (clearly hitting parked cars is not something I do frequently) to which he grinned and let me know that I wouldn't since it was private property. Grace Found Me.
About that time, sweet Lauren said, "you need a hug" and leaned in and just wrapped her arms around mine. Grace Found Me. I can't forget my other friend who was so gracious with her words, for the sweet ladies who were strangers before today but have now become familiar faces. Grace Found Me.
Here's the beautiful lessons of grace: it seeks us out and lavishly pours upon us what we don't deserve. I went searching to and fro and came up short, but when I just went back to where I had messed up-- Grace Found Me.
I deserved a harsh word, a very upset woman, and a ticket but because of where I was standing, because of my efforts to make right my wrong-- Grace Found Me.
My hope and prayer is that you would acknowledge your mess, stop where you are, and let Grace Find You.